


Brainy

by sunwhenitsets



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Canon Disabled Character, F/F, Genderbending, Girl!Hermann, Hurt/Comfort, everyone's a lady, girl!newt, nobody's straight, trans!Tendo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 01:31:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1839457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunwhenitsets/pseuds/sunwhenitsets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natascha “Newt” Geiszler would always remark that she first met Heidi Gottlieb twice. Technically, it should only be once, but Newt figured the first time shouldn’t count if she was unconscious. </p><p>Rated M for eventually mature material.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dragging Around

Heidi was washed in a sensation she would later liken to a drift.

She would be adamant about this, and the precise wording of it all. She would be adamant about the experience, one that didn’t necessarily happen, at least not in her and the rest of the world’s plane of reality.

This would fascinate her, and her scientist’s brain. To have experienced something outside of existence, but entirely real nonetheless.

Like mathematics, in a way.

Of course, she would hesitate to use the word “magic” to describe it, as drifting was rooted in fact and unethereal, without fanciful connotations.

But the feeling was, indeed, like magic. Even when it took on the character of a nightmare.

She relived the moment in spinning fractals, bled over into other memories and repeated on a loop. There was the darkness, the noise, and a brief flash of pain before, somehow, more darkness.

The pain seemed so real, though somewhere in her mind she knew it wasn’t.

Not anymore.

* * *

“Good morning, everyone. And on behalf of the hospital, thank you very much for volunteering today.” The woman, lean in a pair of lavender scrubs and white sneakers, set her clipboard down on the counter, reaching up to twist her tumble of ginger curls into a loose bun, fastened with a pen taken from behind her ear.

Newt ran her hand through her mess of black hair, smiling internally at the fact she’d shorn hers off in the week previous. It just made everything easier.

“My name is Dr. Hansen, but you can all call me Hera,” she drawled, the Australian accent providing a pleasant timbre to her voice. “You’ve each been assigned to separate locations in the hospital. Some of you guys will be working desks, others will be with patients. I know you placed your preferences on your application form, so we’ve tried to accommodate that as much as possible.”

 _No desks, please,_ Newt thought. _I’d just about die of boredom._

“All right, when I call your name, please report to your assigned wing. Tell the nurse on staff you’re a volunteer, and they’ll find something for you to do. Okay, first up . . . “

Newt stared at the clock behind Hera, watching as the long hand ticked down its face. Her foot tapped idly, and she barely noticed as the group around her slowly began to shrink.

“Natascha Geiszler . . . Geiszler?” Newt snapped to attention, looking down to Hera.

“Oh, geez, sorry. Was off on my own little world. What’s my assignment, again?” The woman sighed.

“I don’t like having to repeat myself, Ms. Geiszler.”

“Call me Newt, it’s a lot more fitting.”

“Okay, Newt. You’re assigned to the ICU.”

“Sweet! Where is that, exactly?” The woman gestured up with an annoyed expression, and Newt followed her gaze to a sign, with an arrow pointing right, marked with the letters ICU.

Newt laughed. “Right, right. Cool. Thanks.”

She headed down the hall, resisting the urge to peek into rooms as she walked. Privacy, right? But they piqued her curiosity regardless. Hospitals just did, in general. If she wasn’t on track to be a biologist, and she didn’t love the subject as dearly as she did, Newt figured she’d have been a doctor. Guts and entrails never made her squeamish, and she certainly had a steady hand with a scalpel. But research and lab work seemed to be her calling.

“Are you Natascha Geiszler?” A voice snapped her attention back as a tall, burly woman with thick blonde hair looked down on her. _Jesus, Newt, get it together. You’re daydream-y today._

“Yep, that’s me.”

“Good. I am Aleksis, head nurse. Get cart from supply closet, and start restocking patient rooms. Any questions, report to me or Sasha, floor nurse." As if one cue, a chiseled woman in green scrubs walked past with a wink. Aleksis smiled serenely, and Newt raised an eyebrow. 

"All right, awesome. Thanks!" Newt crossed to the other side of the hall, holding the closet door open with her heel as she grabbed a cart, ad began stocking it with gauze, syringes, needles, and other supplies. When she arrived to the first room, she found it empty, and was somewhat disappointed.  _What were you expecting?_

As she transferred bandages from one cart to the other, she imagined arriving to the next room, with a gorgeous girl or guy or neither sitting up in their bed reading a copy of Darwin's  _Origin of Species_ or something. They'd talk, and find out they was being discharged that afternoon. Once Newt's shift ended, they'd get coffee, and it'd all be hella cute and adorable and then they'd go home and fuck like minks. 

_Yeah, that'd be sweet._

The next series of rooms was uneventful, with patients either out or sleeping. It was early in the morning, after all. A few rooms held cute old folks that Newt got to talking to, with another holding a scowling, ginger-haired girl listening to music that Newt felt she recognized, somehow, but didn't dare talk to. 

As she reached the final room, the most removed from the rest of the wing, Newt checked her watch.  _Ten minutes 'til end of shift. I got this._

She pushed open the door, blinking as dim light washed over her. Why weren't the lights on? She reached over, flipping the switch. 

"Oh, shit." 

The room was bare, save for a single bed, and the woman who occupied it. Unable to help her curiosity, Newt left the cart at the door and crept up to the bed. 

She was hooked up to a heartbeat monitor, a respirator, and a catheter, with two other machines Newt didn't recognize pushed off to the side. Her hair was styled in what Newt imagined used to be a rad undercut, but had grown out clumsily, clearly not trimmed in weeks. Her eyes were closed under long lashes, below which sharp cheekbones jutted to frame a bony, angular face marred by scabs and healing bruises. Her right leg was encased in a kind of cast, pulled out to the side and under the blankets. 

_Jesus christ._

Newt looked to the whiteboard on the wall, seeing Sasha's name as the attending nurse, along with her picture. Above it, the name  _Heidi Gottlieb_ was scrawled. 

"Heidi. Your name's Heidi. That's adorable, dude," Newt found herself saying. She grabbed the cart, and began to stack the strips of gauze. 

"You're in a coma, right? I assume so. You look pretty coma-ish. Sorry if that's like, insensitive, " Newt winced, looking around the room for any sign of of who Heidi was. There were no flowers, cards, or any type of indication she had ever received a visit. 

"I heard coma patients can hear when you talk to them, so I'm just gonna keep talking, okay? It seems like you don't get enough conversation." Finished, she pushed the cart to the door, looking back at the girl in the bed. 

"Listen, I'm just gonna go put this in the closet, and I'll come back, okay? Promise."

She walked quickly down the hall, somewhere between a walk and a run as she scanned the nurse's station for Sasha. She finally found the slender woman as she kicked the cart into the closet, carrying a stack of patient charts. 

"Hey, Sasha! Quick question." Newt approached the woman warily, somewhere between attracted and a little intimidated. The woman smiled with an abundance of teeth. 

"Hello, you have question?" She asked. _Russian, like her wife,_ Newt thought. _Not surprising._

"Yeah, um, what's the uh, _prognosis_  on Heidi Gottlieb, the patient in room 600?"

"Oh yes, Ms. Gottlieb. Very tragic."

"Is she gonna die?" Newt asked. Sasha sighed.

"Her privacy is important to us, all I can tell you is that she is in coma. Little hope of her coming out. Now, if you'll excuse me." She brushed past her with the clipboards, and Newt frowned.  _I should've seen that coming._

She checked her watch again. _10 o'clock. I'm free._

_Not so much._

"Hey, Heidi, I'm back." Newt opened the door, grabbing the chair from the corner and pulling it to the side of the bed. 

She didn't have to be to class until noon, anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to the national for rad lyrics that i use for my title and chapter names


	2. Tall Kingdom

There are no minutes or days or weeks in the drift, in fact, time did not have any bearing upon it. If it did, Heidi would like to think she’d be able to tell. For all she knew, she’d only been unconscious for an instant. Or maybe years. Or maybe she was dead, and this was the afterlife.

She hoped she was still alive. But she feared the monotonous repetitions of the same events over and over would bring her over the edge, and drive her insane. And what was she without her mind?

Then, suddenly, that changed.

She heard a voice, raspy and thin, that said her name.

It was new, it was strange, and it broke through.

* * *

“How’s my favorite coma patient?” Newt asked cheerily, pulling up the chair.

“I don’t have to be to work ‘til two today, so we can basically talk forever. Well, I can talk. And hope that you hear me. But whatever, I don’t really mind. You’re a good listener.”

No matter what assignment Aleksis gave her, from disinfecting wheelchairs to taking out the trash, Newt found herself winding back to Room 600 at the end of each shift. She pitied Heidi, at least at first, but something about the woman’s strong jaw and grimace made Newt thing she probably wouldn’t appreciate the emotion. So instead she viewed it as a courtesy, something nice to do for a fellow human.

Newt knew if she was in a coma, she’d want someone to talk to her. And the fact that Heidi had no one made her heart ache.

“I assume you’re doing good, nurses treating you all right? I’ll beat them up if they don’t.”

She didn’t blame the nurses, not really. It was a big hospital, and they certainly didn’t have the time to make idle chit chat with an unconscious girl. Instead, she blamed the people that were supposed to be there for Heidi. She had to have friends, family. Why weren’t they here?

“I’m doing fine, by the way. The guy who works weekends, you know, the one that I covered that shift for, still hasn’t called me back. I’m a little pissed about that still, I let him put his hand down my pants and everything.”

She still wondered what happened to Heidi. Her leg was fucked up, that was clear. Her face got all messed up, too, and from what Heidi could see so did her shoulders and arms. The rest was under her blanket. Car accident, maybe? Or something more adventurous. _Maybe she went bungee jumping and her cord broke, or--_

“Who are you?”

Newt jolted, whirling around to see a tall, dark-skinned woman with long, flowing black hair, half of it shaved, which Newt found to be terribly badass.

“Oh, I’m Newt, I volunteer here. I was just keeping Heidi company. Are you her family?” She asked, suspiciously.

The woman chuckled. “Do we look like we’re related?” Her voice, deep and clipped, was as crisp as fallen leaves. 

“I dunno, dude, she could be adopted, maybe? You’re not old enough to be her mom, a sibling’s kind of unlikely, but maybe an aunt? Yeah, I’m just babbling. Who are you, too?”

“Stana. Heidi works for me, at the university.”

“Pan Pacific?” Newt asked. Stana nodded.

“Hey! I go to school there. What does Heidi do?”

“She’s a professor, of engineering.”

Newt snorted. “I guess that’s why I don’t know her. I’m into biology. Are you like the head of her department?”

“I’m the dean,” Stana said, smiling. Newt’s eyes widened.

“Oh my god, you’re Dean Pentecost. I’m sorry, it’s such a big school, I didn’t even--”

“It’s perfectly fine. I’m here to see Dr. Gottlieb.”

_Oh, a doctor. Wow._ “She seems a little young to be a professor.”

“She’s very skilled at her subject, I picked her out of a pool of post-docs for the position.”

“Oh, nice, I’m still finishing grad school.”

Pentecost raised an eyebrow. “Another bright one. I think you and Heidi would get along.”

“Really? She seems pretty cool. In a quiet sort of way.” Newt looked at Pentecost expectantly, hoping for a laugh. Instead she received an unreadable stare.

“I try to check on her once a week.”

“Oh, good. Yeah, she doesn’t get a lot of visitors I don’t think.”

“None, except for me, and my daughter from time to time.” She said, a touch of sadness in her voice. Newt nodded.

“That’s nice.” _If it’s so sad, then why don’t you visit her more often?_ The impulsive part of her brain seemed to scream it. Instead, she asked a different question.

“What happened to her?”

Pentecost sighed deeply. “She was driving home when she was struck by another car. A hit and run. A piece of glass punctured her femoral nerve, and the force of the impact caused her brain to swell. No permanent damage, but they aren’t hopeful she’ll wake up.”

“I’m really sorry.”

Pentecost shook her head. “It’s very . . . unfortunate.”

“What about her family? Why don’t they visit her?”

Pentecost’s lips formed into a tight line. “Her mother is a scholar of some notoriety in Germany. I met her once, just after the accident. She told me she hardly had the time to visit her daughter regularly, and moving to America to be with her was out of the question. She asked that I take care of her.”

“And visiting her once a week is taking care?” Newt blurted. Pentecost’s nostrils flared, and her eyes narrowed.

“I’m sorry,” Newt quickly backtracked, “I just--” The door to the room swung open, and Dr. Hansen entered carrying a chart.

“Visitors? Fantastic,” she said, “Heidi doesn’t to seem to get enough of those. Newt?” She asked, eyes catching on her. Newt smiled sheepishly.

“Hi, Dr. Hansen.”

“I didn’t know you were on the schedule today.”

“Oh, I’m not. I’m just, uh, here to see Heidi.”

“Sure,” she said warily, brightening as her eyes fell on Stana. “Good afternoon, Ms. Pentecost.”

“The same to you, Hera. And, please, call me Stana.” Newt felt something hum between them, and stood, feeling awkward.

“Well, now that you’re here, I can probably get going.”

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Newt,” said Pentecost. Newt nodded.

“Nice to meet you too.”

She tucked the chair back into the corner and hurried down the hallway, her cheeks burning. What had she been thinking? Did she really think Heidi had no one? And what was she doing, trying to look out for someone she'd never even met. Not for real, at least. 

As she reached the elevator, Newt pressed the button for her floor, folding her arms over her chest protectively. 

No. People don't deserve a visit a week from their boss. As kind as what Pentecost was doing was, Heidi deserved more. Any person would.  

So Newt would be her friend. Even if she was the only one she had in the entire world. 

 


	3. End of Your Coat

“You’re so weird.”

“I am, yes, but this doesn’t make me weird.”

“You want me to help you pick out flowers for your comatose girlfriend. That’s a little weird.”

Newt groaned, caught between a bundle of roses and baby’s breath and another of tulips and lilies.

“Tendo, she’s not my girlfriend.”

“And I love dick. See? I can say stuff that’s not true, too.” Delighted with herself, Tendo gave Newt a platonic pat on the ass. “I’m just teasing, babe. I think it’s sweet you’re doing this.”

“Thanks. But seriously, which one? The roses seem a little funeral-y.”

“I agree. Tulips are cuter.”

Decision made, Newt grabbed the bouquet and made her way to the counter to pay. Tendo followed dutifully, adjusting her bra in annoyance.

“Damn, this thing’s a bitch.”

“Didn’t you buy that one yesterday?”

“Yeah, not my best choice. Who knew B-cups would be such a hassle.”

Newt laughed, swiping her card and snatching up the bouquet as she headed for the parking lot. “You know, if you’ve got nothing to do, you could come visit her with me.”

Tendo raised an eyebrow.  “Taking me to meet the girlfriend, wow, this must be serious.”

Newt punched her playfully in the arm, unlocking her car as Tendo slid into the passenger seat. “She’s still a human being, you know? She deserves a friend. And her room’s so depressing, dude, it makes me wanna cry.”

“Well, the flowers should be nice, then.”

“I hope so.”

Once they arrived at the hospital, Newt wound their way up to the Heidi’s floor, peeking around the corner and into Room 600 to make sure it was empty. Newt gave Tendo the all clear and they entered the room, silent save for the soft beeps of the machines.

“Shit, you were right. This is sad,” said Tendo quietly.

“I know. But it’s better now. Right, Heidi?” Newt skipped over to the other side of the bed, pulling out the unused side table and setting the flowers on it.

“I dunno if you like tulips or not, but here you go, dude. And this is my friend, Tendo.” Newt looked at Tendo expectantly.

“Oh! Um, hey, Heidi . . . Lookin’ good.” Newt stifled a giggle, and Tendo grinned. “So this is what you do? Just sit and talk to her.”

“Yep. It’s pretty nice, actually. She’s kinda the best listener a girl could ask for.”

“I’ll say. What’s her deal, though? Is she gonna come out of it?”

“They, uh, don’t think so. Which is all the more reason to be here, I think.” Tendo nodded.

“Right. So, Heidi, what’s up?”

They sat, engaging in one-sided dialogue for the next hour, and until Newt realized her next class was in twenty minutes.

“Fuck, we gotta go.”

“Yep, we do. Nice to meet you, Heidi.” Tendo stood, grabbing her coat and heading for the door.

Newt looked at Heidi, wishing fleetingly that she could reach out and touch her. Could coma patients feel touch?

Newt reached out, laying a nervous hand on Heidi’s.

“See you, Heids.”

* * *

_Heids._

Heidi despised that nickname.

It was worse than Heidi-ho, one she suffered throughout primary school from teachers and classmates alike.

The realization, however, that she could hear the dreadful nickname was something that stirred deep within her chest.

Her first thought was, “Don’t call me that.”

The words, real words, sat on the tip of her tongue and made her head ache.

It was a terrible discovery, truly. That she could hear the world around her but was powerless to truly interact with it.

To be present.

She could remember the accident clearly, now. A constant reminder to why driving was a ridiculous activity that she’d never again be a part of.

Heidi didn’t want to dwell on it now, of course. It should be a happy time. A hopeful time. She was more conscious than she had ever been since the accident.

Whenever it occurred.

She no longer wondered if she was dead.

_If I am alive._

_Then I will be alive._

* * *

Newt hitched her backpack over her shoulders, wondering if she should readjust the straps after all. In her left arm, she carried a textbook, in her right hand, she clutched a cup of coffee.

It was all that was necessary for a full day of classes, she felt.

Deep in thought that concerned whether or not her bioluminescence professor would mind of she kept coffee at her lab station, Newt barely noticed the figure that brushed past her, knocking her textbook to the ground and sloshing her coffee all down her shirt.

“Hey, fucking watch it--Oh, god. Dean Pentecost. Hi.”

The tall, dark-haired woman glared, then softened, and adjusted the lapels of her smartly cut suit. “Good morning, Newt.”

“Good morning to you, too,” she said, bending down to pick up the textbook.

“I’m very sorry, but I’m in quite a hurry, I’m needed at the hospital.” She turned to go, looking back at the sound of Newt’s squeak.

“Is there something wrong with Heidi?” She asked. Pentecost shook her head.

“No, quite the contrary. Her brain waves have been spiking.”

“So that means--”

“--They think she’s waking up.” 


	4. Everything I Love

“Did you bring these?”

Newt blinked, shaken from a shockingly pleasant dream involving a giant sea monster and a death ray. Her eyes focused, revealing a small girl with raven-black hair, tied back with a smart red ribbon. She was holding the, now wilted, bouquet of flowers Newt and Tendo had brought the week before.

“I did, yeah.”

“They’re very nice. My mama won’t let me bring flowers.”

“Oh really?” Newt sat up, fascinated by the child and her thick Japanese accent. “Why not?”

“She says Heidi doesn’t like flowers.”

“Oh.” Newt frowned, looking to Heidi’s passive expression in the bed. Some girls didn’t like flowers, she supposed. Newt knew she didn’t. As a kid and a teen she always preferred things of the slimy or wriggling variety. Maybe Heidi was like that, too.

“What does she like?” Newt asked, assuming the little girl knew her as well, and for the moment disregarding why she was in Heidi’s room in the first place.

“Math, mostly. She made me a robot for my eighth birthday. It said my name and stomped on toy cars.”

Newt laughed explosively, making the girl smile. “That’s so cool. What’s your name, kiddo?”

“Mako.”

“Nice to meet you, Mako. I’m Newt.”

“Like the lizard?” Mako asked, furrowing her brow.

“Yep, just like the lizard.”

“Your mother and father named you after a lizard?”

Newt laughed again, delighted by the little girl. “Nope, they named me Natascha. But when I was a kid my uncle had this pet lizard, a newt, well actually I think it might’ve been a salamander but whatever. I thought it was the coolest little guy in the world. I’d hold its cage in my lap or crawl around on the floor and hiss, and finally my uncle was like, ‘I guess we raised a little newt after all,’ and the name just stuck. My mom hates it, but what can you do?”

Mako giggled. “I think it’s cute.”

Newt blushed. “As far as reptilian nicknames go, I guess you’re right,” Newt paused, remembering to be a responsible adult. “I probably should’ve asked you this immediately, but why are you in here? Did you lose your mom or dad?”

“My mama is talking to the redheaded doctor, she told me to wait in here. That’s when I found you sleeping.”

“Oh, shit. I mean, uh, shoot. What time is it?”

“Two thirty.” Newt goggled. She was supposed to be her bioluminescence class, a class she had already racked up one absence and two tardies for, half an hour ago. She sat up, rolling her sore shoulders and sighing.

Volunteering, combined with class and her work schedule, as well as mandatory socializing (as Tendo referred to it, rather than going outside) had eaten up nearly all her time, making visits to talk to Heidi few and brief. Newt had stopped by that morning between classes, giving her a rundown of her disastrous date the night before, yawning between syllables and, unknowingly, drifting into sleep.

For four hours.

“I see you’ve made a friend, Mako.”

“Mama!” The girl ran to the doorway, and Newt turned, eyes widening at the sight of the looming Dean Pentecost and the little girl, her arms wrapped around her mother’s legs.

“This must be your daughter,” said Newt understandingly. Pentecost nodded, the smallest of smiles playing at the corner of her lips.

“Yes, she is. I bring her as often as I can, she and Heidi get along well.”

 _So she’s good with kids, too? Geez, what a woman._ “Awesome. Any update?”

Pentecost shook her head. “They tested her response to stimulus, which has been increasing. But the electric impulses have remained constant over the last few days.”

“So, better, but not _better_ better.”

Pentecost raised an eyebrow. “Yes, I suppose you could look at it like that.” There was a beep, and the woman pulled her phone from a holster on her skirt, checking the screen.

“Unfortunately, Mako and I have to go.”

“Soccer practice?” Newt asked, grinning. Pentecost smiled.

“Tae kwon do, actually. Good to see you, Newt.”

“Thanks, you too. Bye, Mako.”

“Bye, Newt!” As they left, Newt turned back to Heidi with a sigh.

She wondered if she’d ever seen her at the university, just in passing, in an interaction so small neither would even remember it.

“But I’d remember you, wouldn’t I?”

A woman with a architectural face and wide lips and boyish hair, sneering or smirking or smiling as she walked along campus.

Was she funny? Strict? Laid back? Did she rule her class with an iron fist or gently encourage all kinds of students? What did she dress like? What kind of music did she listen to?

Newt wondered, if they had met, would they have liked each other?

Newt hoped so.

* * *

A red bicycle with a silver basket. A platter of sugar cookies with a snowman in the center. A big black car and a hand on her shoulder.

_But I’d remember you, wouldn’t I?_

She didn’t like flowers because they reminded her of funerals.

She liked robots because coding them was easy, especially for little girls with red ribbons in their hair.

And she didn’t like her hospital gown, because it itched her skin and wasn’t warm like one of her sweaters.

I’m in a hospital.

_Open your eyes, you weak idiot._

And she did.


	5. Is On The Table

_“Holy shit!”_

Newt leaped back, the chair skittering across the floor.

Heidi’s eyelids fluttered close just as quickly as they had opened, and Newt wondered for a moment if she had hallucinated the entire thing.

But, after the briefest moment and as Newt crept toward her, they opened again, revealing a pair of dark brown eyes and a dazed expression.

“Oh my god, Heids, you’re awake,” Newt spluttered, trying to remind herself to remain calm underneath the excited beat of her heart.

Heidi’s eyes narrowed, and she opened her mouth, as if to speak. Her breathing quickened as no sound came out, and for a moment she feared if she had forgotten how to speak.

“Just breathe, okay, girl?” Newt said, as soothingly as she could manage. “I’m gonna get a doctor.”

“I am not a _girl_.”

Newt whirled away from the door, eyes wide. The voice, hoarse and clipped and British and downright _offended_ had come, miraculously, from the bed.

“Dude,” Newt whispered, in wonderment.

“I am a . . . a . . . “ She trailed off, her eyes rolling back in her head as she slipped back into unconsciousness. Newt bolted from the room, nearly bowling into Dr. Hansen at the nurse’s station.

“Yes, Ms. Geiszler?” She asked, voice tinted with concern. Newt supposed she looked like a harried mess, but come on, at least she had a reason to be.

“Heidi Gottlieb. She just, uh, how should I say this, woke up?”

“You’re saying she regained consciousness,” Hansen breathed. Newt nodded furiously.

“Yeah, I am.”

* * *

 

“It’s common for patients who regain consciousness after comas lasting more than two weeks to slip in and out of reality,” Hansen began, pricking Heidi’s wrist with a needle.

Newt flinched sympathetically, as Heidi’s muscles tightened. Hansen nodded to herself, and to Pentecost, who stood in the corner of the room “She’s still responding to stimulus. It’s likely only a matter of time until she wakes up again. I assume she didn’t say anything while she was awake.”

“No, she did, “ Newt blurted. Hansen raised an eyebrow.

“What did she say?” Hansen asked, surprised. Newt grinned weakly.

“She told me not to call her a girl. I was like ‘it’s okay, girl’ or whatever, and she went, ‘I am not a girl.’” Newt mimicked the accent with surprising accuracy. “She tried to say something else, but then she went under again.”

Pentecost chuckled to herself. “That’s Dr. Gottlieb, for you.”

“Sassy?” Newt asked. Pentecost shook her head, smiling.

“I’m sure she’d prefer the term, _professional.”_

“Everyone,” Hansen whispered suddenly, “be quiet.”

Newt looked to Heidi, whose face twitched absentmindedly. She held her breath as she stirred, and finally opened her eyes again.

“Hello, Heidi,” Hansen said softly. “You were in a coma, you’re awake now.”

“. . . I am a _scientist_.” She hissed.

“What?” Hansen looked up in confusion. Newt’s face burned red.

“Oh, I guess that’s what she was trying to say. Ha.” Pentecost approached the bed, making Newt goggle as she smoothed a hand over Heidi’s.

“How do you feel, Dr. Gottlieb?” She asked gently.

“I feel . . . fine. Bruised, but fine. My leg.” She looked to it, encased in its cast, and exhaled.

“We can talk about your injuries later,” Hansen said. “What you need to do is rest. Is there anyone you’d like us to call for you?”

Heidi shook her head. “No, no one.”

Hansen nodded. “All right. I’m going to arrange for a full-body examination for when you’re up to it. It’s good to have you back, Dr. Gottlieb.” Hansen smiled warmly, grabbing her clipboard.

“What happened to me?” Heidi asked, once Hansen was out of earshot.

Pentecost shook her head. “Later, Heidi. The doctor meant it when she told you rest.”

“And what does that mean?” Heidi demanded, her voice stinging though it was barely above a whisper. “I’ve been _resting_ for . . . however long I’ve been like this.”

Pentecost opened her mouth to speak, interrupted by the ring of her cell phone.

“I’ll be back in just a moment,” She assured, bringing the phone to her ear as she went for the door. Newt felt suddenly, horribly out of place.

“I should probably--”

“--You. I know you.” Heidi turned her head, scowling through the pain. Newt’s eyes widened.

“I don’t think we’ve, uh, met.” Newt said quickly. Heidi frowned.

“From . . . somewhere. I know you. Why were you here when I woke up?”

“I volunteer here, at the hospital. I’m taking this sociology course at the university, the one you teach at, actually, and volunteering is kinda mandatory. I chose a hospital because, you know, I’m a bio major and it just seemed pretty interesting, I guess--”

“--Please answer my question.” Newt blinked.

“Geez, okay. I sort of got to talking to you. While you were in your coma.”

“So that’s what I heard,” she murmured.

“You heard me?” Newt asked, her heartbeat drumming in her chest.

“ . . . Yes. But I can’t . . . remember . . . “

“Wow, you’re way tired, don’t exhaust yourself, okay?” Newt stood, resisting the urge to touch her.

“Tell me . . . what happened,” Heidi said, through gritted teeth.

“Um, okay,” said Newt, caught between legitimate fear and the realization that, if she were in Heidi’s place, she’d want to know the same thing.

“A car accident. It really messed you up, your leg especially, the femoral nerve.”

“Will I be able to walk?” She asked. Newt shrugged.

“Not sure.”

Heidi sighed, her eyes closing for a moment, as if concentrating. “I remember it. Vaguely . . . The accident.”

“That’s good, I think. That you remember.”

“And I remember the things you . . . told me.”

Newt shushed her gently, laying a hand on her wrist. “I can tell you wanna sleep, so, um, you should sleep.”

“Don’t . . . shush me. I am a . . . “ Her eyes closed, and she drifted back into silence.

“I know, dude. A scientist.” 


	6. It's a Sign

“So, what was she like?”

Newt stirred her coffee, taking a cautious sip and wincing. “This coffee is hot as hell.”

“I’m not letting you change the subject.” Tendo reached out, sliding the coffee to her side of the table. Newt sighed.

“Not what I imagined.”

Tendo raised an eyebrow. “What were you imagining?”

“I don’t know,” she began. “That she’d be cool. Stuffy, but cool. You can’t be a professor as young as she is without being stuffy.”

Tendo smiled in sympathy. “It’s pretty overwhelming, waking up from that sort of thing. Maybe she was just a bit out of sorts.”

Newt looked up thoughtfully. Could she have been? It was a bit of an overload, coming back from a thing like that. But the tight line of her lips and the scowl that reached her eyes seemed like they were the norm. Newt wondered what she would do, if she was in Heidi’s place. Be overjoyed? Terrified? Some combination of both?

Newt shook her head. “I doubt it. I think she’s just . . . grumpy.”

Tendo laughed. “Grumpy?”

Newt couldn’t help but giggle. “Yeah, and just a little short-tempered. I bet she’s a bitch to have for a teacher.”

Tendo nodded. “My friend Alison had her last year for an engineering course. She used to always complain about how intense she was.”

“Is this the same Alison you’re going out with this weekend?”

“Again with the subject-changing,” Tendo smirked. “But yes.”

Newt clapped her hands together. “Awesome. You two have been eyeing each other for months.”

Tendo bit her lip. “More like years. Anyway, when are you seeing her again?”

“Heidi?” Tendo nodded, and Newt shrugged. “Not sure. She’s gonna be in there for awhile, what with her leg and all.”

“Well, other than Pentecost and her daughter, she’s still got no one to visit her. And now that she’s awake, she’s gotta be as lonely as ever.”

“I guess you’re right. I . . . should probably go see her.”

“Awesome.” Tendo echoed, and Newt retrieved her coffee.

“So, about Alison. Her boyfriend still in the picture?”

* * *

“Hey, mind if I come in?”

“Natascha?”

“Uh, y-yeah. You know my name? Like, my real name.” Newt opened the door slowly, biting back a smile at the sight of Heidi, propped up in the bed with a set of reading glasses balanced on her nose. In her hands she held an enormous book that Newt was almost certain didn’t have any pictures.

“You told Mako about your name. Something involving lizards. I remember.”

“Oh, cool. You can call me Newt, you know.”

Heidi frowned, setting down the book and removing her glasses. “I prefer Natascha.”

“Right, okay. So, um, how are you?”

“Fine.” There was silence, and Newt shifted uncomfortably. “I suppose I should ask how you are doing as well.”

Newt blinked. “Uh, you don’t have to, but fine, too, I guess.”

Heidi nodded, seemingly unperturbed by the silence. Newt wondered if she prefered it.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” she began, as Newt walked to the chair, pulling it beside the bed. “Why did you come and visit me? We don’t know each other.”

“Yeah, I know,” Newt said quickly. “But there was this one day where I came in and you were just sorta . . . here. No flowers, no cards, no nothing. I felt--” _No, shit, don’t say ‘sorry for you.’ She’d hate that._ “--like you needed someone to talk to. To listen to, I mean.”

Heidi looked thoughtful, until her eyebrows furrowed.“You assumed I had no visitors.”

“I didn’t have to, dude. It was pretty obvious. And Pentecost ended up telling me when she showed up. I was glad you had her, but even then she didn’t come in often. I just thought . . . “ Say it, you idiot. “If I was in your place, I’d want someone here. Like all the time. I’d hate the silence.”

Heidi was quiet for a moment. _Great, I fucked this up pretty royally._

“Thank you.”

“What?” Newt stared. Heidi glared at her.

“Did you not understand me?” She asked. Newt blinked.  

“No, I did,” Newt said in annoyance, “I’m just confused. One second you seem like you’re gonna bite my head off, and the next you’re thanking me.”

Heidi raised an eyebrow. “I plan on doing nothing of the sort.”

Newt snorted, and she flinched. “I like you, dude. You’re grumpy, but you’re cool.” Heidi looked scandalized, and Newt couldn’t help but grin even further until she regained her composure.

“I appreciate what you did for me. I’ll admit it was . . . nice. To hear something other than my own thoughts.”

“You could think in there?” Newt asked.

“Somewhat. Bits of memories, just fragments at best. The accident, mostly. And then you.”

Newt felt color rise up to her neck. “So you, uh, heard all that stuff I told you.”

“I don’t remember all of it, but yes. How is that coworker of yours?” Her face was impassive, and Newt’s ears turned pink.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna see him again.”

“Probably a good strategy. I think it’d be in your best interest to see a man who wants to see you, as well.”

Newt laughed. “Sarcastic, huh? I didn’t peg you for the sassy type.”

“I’m full of surprises.”  

“That you are,” Newt smiled, leaning back in her chair. “So, how long are you in for?”

“A month, most likely. Enough time for my leg to heal and my mobility to return.”

Newt whistled. “Jesus. Do you . . . want me to keep coming here? To see you?”

Heidi looked up. “Only if you would like to. I will admit I enjoy your company. You’re a student at the university, correct?”

Newt nodded. “Yep, I’m a grad student in the bio department.” Heidi chuckled, and Newt’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

“Of course you’re a biology student.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Heidi smirked.

“You weren’t skilled at enough with maths to go into chemistry.”

Newt was caught between appreciation for the legitimate joke and bubbling anger. “I’ll have you know I love biology, math skills aside. Amphibians, especially.”

Heidi laughed, a gentle, resounding sound that hummed into Newt’s chest. “I should’ve known.”

“How?”

“You call yourself Newt, for god’s sake.”

Newt giggled. “I guess I do. And you teach engineering, right?”

Heidi scoffed. “I’m the head of the department.”

Newt rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Good for you. But seriously, how old were you when you got your PhD? You’re like, not even thirty.”

“I’m twenty-four, actually.”

Newt’s jaw dropped. “Dude, you’re only a year older than me.”

 _“Fascinating.”_ In retaliation, Newt kicked her feet up onto the bed, though at a safe distance from Heidi’s leg. As if on cue, she scowled.

“Get your filthy feet off my bed.”

Newt laughed quietly to herself. “Heids, I’m feeling the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” 


	7. Into the Bone

“That looks painful.”

“Thank you for your insight, Natascha.”

The cast for Heidi’s leg lay abandoned at the foot of her bed, as Hera struggled to painlessly fit a thick, black brace around her thigh and knee. Heidi winced in pain, and Newt wished she could reach out and hold her hand. But, knowing Heidi, she’d swat it away and give her some lecture about boundaries.

Whatever. A girl could dream.

“The bones healed very well while you were comatose, however the femoral nerve suffered permanent damage,” Hera began, locking the joints of the brace into place. “This will reduce much of the pain as your leg continues to heal. Ultimately, you should be able to walk with the help of a cane or walker.”

“I’ll _hardly_ be using a walker,” Heidi scoffed, insult permeating her tone. Newt stifled a giggle.

“Come on, Heids, a cane might be pretty cool. You could get one of those with a sword on the inside, that’d be badass.”

“I won’t dignify that with a response.”

“Anyway,” said Hera, pulling the last velcro strap and stepping back. “That should do it. Would you like to give walking a try?”

“Absolutely. Let’s start with the walker.” Hera retrieved the metal contraption from where it sat at the corner of the room and, ignoring Heidi’s pinched expression, set it at the side of the bed. “All right, try to position yourself accordingly.”

Something flit across Heidi’s eyes, and Newt wondered for a brief moment if it was fear. It was gone in an instant, replaced by steely determination.

She sat up in the bed, sliding her legs slowly until the dangled over its edge. Gingerly, she reached out for the walker, placing her feet tentatively on the ground.

 _“Scheiße,”_ she whispered, pain twisting her face until it was almost unrecognizable. As a reflex, Newt stepped forward.

“You okay?” She asked. Heidi nodded, tight-lipped.

“I’ll be fine.” Keeping the weight on her good leg, she stood up straight, leaning heavily on the walker. Slowly, she took a step forward.

“On a scale of one to ten--”

“--Ten.” Heidi scowled, and Hera frowned.

“Maybe we tried this a little too early.”

“No. I can handle this.”

“You don’t have to,” Newt said quietly, and Heidi looked up. Her face had turned the same sickly green as the scrubs she wore (because hospital gowns were, in her words, _humiliating_ ) and sweat stuck her hair to her forehead.

“You can try again in a few hours. You know, go slow, build up to it.”

“ . . . I suppose that would be best.”

“Awesome! Okay, let’s get you back into bed, all right?” With Hera’s help, Newt leaned Heidi against her shoulder, levering her back into the bed as Hera smiled encouragingly.

“This is fantastic progress, Heidi. I’m going to give your physical therapist an update, okay?” Heidi waved her hand dismissively, pulling the blankets up to her chest as Hera left the room.

“Seriously, dude. That was pretty cool.”

“It was pathetic,” she muttered. Newt frowned.

“How can you say that?” Newt demanded. “You’ve been out of commission for weeks, and you managed to take a step today. That’s so fucking cool.”

Heidi grabbed her notebook from the bedside table, opening it to a new page and slipping her pen out from where it was wedged between her ear.

“Great, now what are you doing?” Newt asked. Heidi huffed.

“I’m coding another robot for Mako, she wants one that can fight with the other.”

Newt laughed. “That’s amazing. But shouldn’t you be using a computer?”

“I prefer to work by hand.”

Newt whistled, settling into her chair. “You’re something else, girl.”

“I am not a girl, I am--”

“ _\--a woman, of course, and a scientist for that matter with a PhD in bla bla bla_.” The accent was atrocious, but it got the message across. Heidi’s eyes narrowed, until her lips bloomed into a smile. To Newt’s shock, she was laughing.

“I don’t sound like that, do I?” She asked. Newt giggled.

“A little bit, yep.”

“Wonderful.”

Newt looked to her. “When did you move to the US?”

Heidi raised an eyebrow. “That’s an awfully sudden question.”

“I’m curious. You’ve got a German name, a Brit accent, and you live in America. That’s an odd combo.”

“If you must know I was born in Germany, but I lived in London for much of my adolescence.”

Newt nodded. “That makes sense. So was I, you know.”

“Born in Germany?”

“Hell yeah. My whole family’s German. Wait . . . _sprechen sie Deutsch?”_

 _“Nein.”_ Newt squinted, and then smirked.

“I see what you did there. But why are you teaching in the US?”

“Dean Pentecost gave me an excellent offer after I received my PhD. Hers was the only school that would allow me a position as head of the engineering department.”

“Cool, I get it. Aren’t you gonna ask me about my life?” Newt asked, wiggling her eyebrows. Heidi sighed.

“If I must. When did you move here?”

“Just in time to start high school. It was a pretty wild transition.”

“I’m sure it was,” Heidi said sympathetically. Newt shrugged.

“It wasn’t too bad, though. I didn’t have a lot of friends to say goodbye to or anything.”

“Neither did I,” said Heidi quietly. Newt looked up, and grinned.

“I guess we have more in common than we thought, don’t we?”

“Don’t get too carried away. You have a degree in biology, after all.”

“Wait until I finish grad school,” she said. “I’ll be insufferable.”

“What do you want to do with your degree?” Heidi asked.

“Research, mostly. I think animals have a lot to hide from us, I wanna figure out what they’ve got going on, you know?”

“I think so.”

“Sometimes I wish I was good at math. But it just never really interested me, I guess.”

Heidi snorted. “But lizards and fish did?” Newt smiled.

“Exactly. Why do you like math?” Heidi looked thoughtful, and Newt found herself gazing at the way the other woman’s face tipped upward, clearly enraptured with some hefty thought.

“I’ve never really thought about it . . . I believe math is indefinite. It exists on an entirely different plane, but governs all of the rest. It’s transcendent.”

“Wow,” sighed Newt. “That’s kinda beautiful.”

Heidi’s face turned hot. “No, it isn’t.”

“Trust me, you just made math beautiful, and that’s a pretty difficult thing to do.”

“Not if you see math the way I do.”

Newt exhaled. “You’re really cool, you know that, Heidi?”

The statement did nothing to cool the color spreading across her face. “Thank you, Natascha. I . . . feel the same. About you, that is.”

“Great. I mean good. I mean . . . Hey. Wanna see if I can sneak a wheelchair in here?” 


	8. Careful Fear

“This is a terrible idea.”

Newt shushed her, in-between a fit of giggles. “If Hansen sees us, we’re totally dead.”

“Then wheel me faster, you idiot.”

It turned out, at least in a hospital, wheelchairs were fairly easy to come by. And without any sort of stringent checking-out procedure.

In fact, Newt wondered if she might just steal one or two for herself.

They swung around the corner, shooting quickly into the elevator, both breathing a sigh of relief as the doors slid closed.

“So, where do you wanna go?” Newt asked. Heidi looked thoughtful for a moment.

“Outside, if at all possible. Hospital air gets quite stale after awhile.”

“I feel you. They’ve got a pretty nice garden, if that sounds good to you?”

“Yes, it does.”

The elevator opened, and Newt put her head down as they cleared the reception desk and automatic door. They were hit with a stream of humid air, the sun bright and shining, and Newt heard Heidi’s audible gasp.

“You all right?”

There was a pause. “Yes. I am. It’s just . . . a lot to take in.”

“We’ll go inside whenever you want.”

“I’m fine. Truly. Where’s the garden?” Newt turned the chair, skirting the corner of the building and into a courtyard. There was a quaint wooden bench, surrounded by tall grass and flowers and a few vegetable plants, the purpose of which Newt wasn’t exactly sure.

“It’s lovely,” said Heidi. Newt grinned.

“Glad you like it. C’mon, let’s sit down. Or, uh, I’ll sit down. You’ll just keep doing your thing.”

“Obviously.” Newt rolled her eyes, sidling Heidi next to the bench and sitting at its corner. They sat in silence for a moment, breathing the air, until Newt spoke.

“So, when are you gonna be back at the university?”

“Excuse me?”

“You know, teaching. I was thinking of switching into one of your classes. Giving math another shot, you know? So I was wondering when you’d be teaching again.”

Heidi felt her cheeks go pink. “And why would you want to do that?”

Newt fidgeted. “Well, what you said the other day. About math. It sort of made me wonder what I was missing. And if anyone’s gonna teach me math, it’s gonna be you.”

“That’s very . . . sweet.”

Newt grinned. “Now this is the part where you say how I rekindled your secret love for biology and you want sit in on some classes as soon as possible.”

Heidi snorted. “Good try, Natascha. That won’t be happening any time soon.”

Newt sighed. “Damn. Okay.”

Heidi nudged her with an elbow. “I did, however, ask you to take me to a _garden_ , for goodness’ sake, so I suppose you could be rubbing off on me.” Newt began to giggle, and Heidi scowled.

“Could you be any more crude?”

Newt laughed. “Yeah, a lot more, actually. But if you’re gonna be all British about it I’ll save it.”

“Thank you, dear.” Newt made a small squeaking noise, and Heidi looked up. “What? What is it?”

“Uh. Dear. You called me dear.”

Heidi blinked. “You’d prefer I wouldn’t call you that?”

Newt shook her head. “No. Wait, yes. Shit. It just caught me off guard is all.”

“I myself enjoy terms of endearment. I figured you would as well.”

“I do! I’m just used to, you know, babe and stuff. Honey. Sex bomb.”

“Those are terrible.”

“And,” Newt continued. “No one’s ever called me dear before.”

Heidi frowned. “That’s unfortunate. I’ll call you it more, if you prefer.”

“Yeah. I think I would.” Newt paused for a moment, watching as the wind ruffled Heidi’s hair. “Hey, can I ask you a question?”

“No.” Newt wilted, until Heidi smirked. “Ask, you moron.”

“Shut up. So, okay. Do you wanna . . . go out. With me. Not like friends but like . . . a date?”

Heidi turned. You want me to go on a date with you?”

“And you call me obtuse. Duh.”

“Yes.”

“What? Really?” Newt asked incredulously. Heidi laughed.

“I don’t like repeating myself, Natascha.”

“Well, you’re gonna have to. You said yes?”

Heidi smiled. “I did.”

* * *

“You’ve definitely got a hot for teacher thing going on here.”

“Have I ever told you that I hate you?” Newt glared, as she dug aimlessly through her underwear drawer. “Have you seen my green bra?”

Tendo smirked. “The one with the dinosaurs on it?”

Newt sighed. “Yes.”

“Right here.” Tendo grabbed the bra from where it had been thrown at the edge of the bed, and tossed it to her.

“Thanks,” said Newt, wriggling out of her sports bra and fastening it around her chest. “Now to find the matching panties.”

Tendo snorted. “Are you really trying to impress this girl with underwear fit for an eighth grader?”

“Hey,” Newt chastised, snatching the panties from the drawer and slipping them on. “If she doesn’t like them, we can’t date. End of story.”

“Very good. So, what are your guys’ plans anyway?”

“Nothing much, just coffee. She’ll still pretty out of commission, so we don’t wanna overdo it.”

“Nice. So, sex is out of the question.” Newt nearly tripped out of her jeans.

“Jesus, Tendo! Of course not. And I don’t imagine she’d be into that on the first date, anyway.”

“You never know,” Tendo said, wiggling her eyebrows. “The real uptight ones can turn out to be hella kinky.”

Newt groaned. “Oh god, please don’t use the word kinky to describe Heidi Gottlieb.”

“I just did. What do you think she’s into, anyway? Bondage? Roleplay? Math?”

Newt exploded with laughter. “How can someone be into math?”

Tendo shrugged. “I knew a guy.”

Newt shook her head. “You’re ridiculous.” She went to the closet, pulling out a long-sleeve and a pair of skinny jeans and pulling them on. “I just like her a lot, you know? She’s arrogant, but she’s got all the smarts to back it up. And she’s funny, too.”

“And a babe. Even with that haircut.”

Newt grinned. “I like it. Hey, what time is it?”

“Quarter to five.”

“Shit!” She grabbed her bag, skittering to the door to tug on her shoes. “Okay, I’ll see you later. Wish me luck?”

“You don’t need it, kid.”


End file.
